My name is Gayle, and I am a 53-year-old Candidate in training for the Ministry of Full-Time Word and Sacrament.
I have been a nurse for 34 years and initially felt my Calling to Ministry in December 2013.
Life has been interesting in the intervening years, none so much as when I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago.
My diagnosis came off the back of going through the diagnostic process with my then 16-year-old son. I was helping him with questionnaires and sitting in on assessments with Psychiatrists and gradually realised that I recognised a lot of the signs and symptoms they were discussing.
On further investigation, through my research online and discussions with friends who are health professionals, I found out that ADHD manifests itself differently in women and girls and is frequently not diagnosed until later in life.
The main reason is that most females tend to internalise their symptoms. We generally do not exhibit what most people would recognise as typical ADHD hyperactive behaviours.
Like most conditions, each person can experience different signs and symptoms, and this is how I describe mine.
My brain is like the inside of a pinball machine, with thoughts firing off in all different directions. The more activities or things I need to think about, the faster the pinballs fire off.
This can make it very difficult to concentrate on specific issues.
I can develop what I can only describe as activity paralysis. This usually occurs when I need to undertake an important or required task, and my brain becomes paralysed. I can sit and look at what I need to do, willing myself to do it, but I just cannot get started.
It’s a horrible feeling, making you feel lazy and incompetent. The more you try to carry out this activity, the more distressed you become. This can result in anxiety, panic, pacing, hiding from the world, overeating and potentially other such unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Time blindness is another area of ADHD that affects me. I have always run late for things. It used to drive my Dad, in particular, around the bend.
I do not mean to be late; I just seem to want to squeeze too many activities into too short a time frame. Again, a quote from my Dad: “Gayle, you’ve always got too many irons in the fire.”
We tend to overcommit ourselves and struggle to say no.
It may sound a bit doom and gloom, but it’s not really.
ADHDers have superpowers.
We can hyperfocus on a topic, which means we can be completely obsessed with learning about it or carrying out this activity. Unfortunately, the topic of hyperfocus is often not helpful then or a task that you need to carry out.
Multitasking is another superpower, as long as I do not engage in too many activities simultaneously.
My diagnosis has given me a much better understanding of how my brain functions, and that understanding has empowered me to manage things better. It’s a relief to know that there are strategies and tools that can help navigate the challenges of ADHD.
For many people, medication can help. It has certainly been a game changer for my son, whose ADHD is more pronounced than mine.
God equipped us all with specific gifts, and I’m learning to view my ADHD as one of God’s gifts to me.
Scottish ADD/ADHD Support Groups (adders.org.uk)
Scottish ADHD Coalition – The Scottish ADHD Coalition
ADHD and Mental Health | Signs and Symptoms of ADHD | YoungMinds